I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize