What a fucking waste of an outfit
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
