Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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