you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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