i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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