i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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