good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
