I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
