it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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