the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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