Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
