and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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