Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
