whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
