if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
