You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
