He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
