i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
