She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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