Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize