I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
