saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
