have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
