he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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