And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
