Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
