So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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