Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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