listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
