$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.