Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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  (206): Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial. http://tfl.nu/2fb2
  Replies (14) Good night (4206) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You want to go to a white party at LAX

  (1-510): View more from California

  Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach

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  (510): You want to go to a white party at LAX (1-510): Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach http://tfl.nu/866u
  Replies (14) Good night (933) Bad night (2125)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Update, blind date is cute and fun.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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  (248): Update, blind date is cute and fun. (248): Scratch that, blind date just threw up. http://tfl.nu/ooba
  Replies (10) Good night (607) Bad night (3945)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

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  (718): i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined. http://tfl.nu/aopw
  Replies (67) Good night (697) Bad night (4525)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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  (832): I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes. http://tfl.nu/wfe6
  Replies (34) Good night (731) Bad night (4319)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere

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  (404): dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere http://tfl.nu/lbp8
  Replies (13) Good night (5407) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7194) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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  (910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv
  Replies (18) Good night (5822) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.

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  (740): I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing. http://tfl.nu/h581
  Replies (10) Good night (2342) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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  (978): and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy? http://tfl.nu/x9f9
  Replies (15) Good night (1577) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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  (720): No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No. http://tfl.nu/pprs
  Replies (18) Good night (2128) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

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  (507): Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr http://tfl.nu/hq3c
  Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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  (818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7
  Replies (11) Good night (425) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

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  (760): Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application. http://tfl.nu/49rg
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make

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  (480): It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make http://tfl.nu/me5f
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (226)

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