I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
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i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know