im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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