Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
