he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
