you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize