my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
