If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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