Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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