Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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