You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
