My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Randomize
