Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
