I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize