She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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