I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
