So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
false alarm. still invincible.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
