Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
