Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
