Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
