Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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