i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
