I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize