anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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