3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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