so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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