Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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