...so i touched it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
