Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I bet he comes in French.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
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Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
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He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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