I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
