Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
