Quick, to the slutcave!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
