And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I could fuck to npr.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
