Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize