...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
