saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
