why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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