one word: firstdatebathroomanal
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
