i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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